This post took me a long time to write, because, I mean, who wants to admit they have struggles in print. Plus I wanted to write this before the baby came, and then the baby came lol. I have no issues talking about it to friends, but like all things in my life, when I write them down, they really become real (I have a to do list, a list of all foods I have eaten and all exercise I have done since April 2013, no joke). Right now I want to insert the laughing tearing emoji right here.
So, here goes.
1) Putting on weight, stretch marks - now weight has always been something I have struggled with since my younger days. I won't go too much into it, but I think almost every woman will have some issue with putting on weight, getting stretch marks, a changing body. So I just have to rant here, now that we have the baby, Lingon keeps saying how he has to keep working out to prevent himself from getting a dad bod. Now, in no way do I want him to be fat, because fat husband means unhealthy dad means poorer care for the baby means he wouldn't be there as much for the baby means more work for me, but hey we women get the weird stretchy skin and saggy boobs and stuff and we can't do anything about it, and we work so hard to care for the baby (and husband). I think one day I'm going to snap and tell him to find a baby/daddy workout so he can do it at home. I mean, the baby is like one damn big weight.
2) For no particular reason, the beginning of the pregnancy marked a particularly difficult time between Lingon and I, definitely pregnancy unrelated. We were fighting all the time, mostly baby/pregnancy-unrelated, and that was not fun. I have heard of a lot of women too who had strained marital relations during their pregnancy, but also heard of a lot who had wonderfully supportive husbands. Eventually things got better, but I'm not quite sure what my point here was.
3) Well, it's not like I was Marissa Mayer, and got paid oodles of dollars for every second I was at work, but I had a part time job and a small business, and having a baby meant making sacrifices with this. I would have committed more to my part time job (my small business was terrible - I did not know how to get clients!), but knew it was not the time with the baby coming. Then Lingon gets to go about doing his normal stuff for the most part, which I think I was partly jealous of.
4) Not wanting life to change. A couple of the things I was really involved in was flying trapeze and aerial. And which studio wants to have liability for a pregnant women on such apparatus?! So I told no one, and I flew till about 5 months and did aerial until about 6 months, and lived with the guilt of thinking I could have killed my baby every moment of that for a few months after. Other things included being angry that I had to pee all the time, could not jump up and down (yeah I do that on a regular basis) without peeing a little in my pants, cutting down on sushi (I actually still believe it is pretty safe as long as you go to a reputable restaurant and do not eat huge fish, the worms thing in the US is not an issue because the fish is frozen which kills the worms), being tired a lot. So yeah, lots of change. Some women get bad morning sickness, I was fortunate that mine was pretty mild and only for a short while in the beginning. Also people treat you differently if they know you are pregnant - I did not tell anyone I was pregnant for like months and months, but when I finally did, they would, very well meaningly, say things like you can't bend down and pick stuff up, or workout, and stuff, and I'm like ughhhhhh no, I'm not incapacitated, I'm growing a child! I had a couple of workout class trainers say especially stupid things like that, which truly ticked me off.
Well, now that I've gotten my rant in, let me say this. All that is worth it. The stretchy skin, the uncomfortableness, the crappy boobs, the fatigue. Because everytime I look at my baby, I feel this joy that really was unimaginable to me even during pregnancy. Everything about him, his pudgy cheeks, his dimpled hands and legs, his milk drunk face, his angry face, his happy face, his sad face, his grunts, his cry, his laughter, oh man I realize how much in love I am. My OB gave me one of the best pieces of advice, which is to allow yourself to fall in love over and over again. Do that with your babies. They really grow so quickly. Take lots of pictures and videos that you may never look at again. Stare at them when they are sleeping. Hug and kiss them lots. I find I could not do that enough. Then you look back at the struggles and realize, hey they really were not so bad after all.
So, here goes.
1) Putting on weight, stretch marks - now weight has always been something I have struggled with since my younger days. I won't go too much into it, but I think almost every woman will have some issue with putting on weight, getting stretch marks, a changing body. So I just have to rant here, now that we have the baby, Lingon keeps saying how he has to keep working out to prevent himself from getting a dad bod. Now, in no way do I want him to be fat, because fat husband means unhealthy dad means poorer care for the baby means he wouldn't be there as much for the baby means more work for me, but hey we women get the weird stretchy skin and saggy boobs and stuff and we can't do anything about it, and we work so hard to care for the baby (and husband). I think one day I'm going to snap and tell him to find a baby/daddy workout so he can do it at home. I mean, the baby is like one damn big weight.
2) For no particular reason, the beginning of the pregnancy marked a particularly difficult time between Lingon and I, definitely pregnancy unrelated. We were fighting all the time, mostly baby/pregnancy-unrelated, and that was not fun. I have heard of a lot of women too who had strained marital relations during their pregnancy, but also heard of a lot who had wonderfully supportive husbands. Eventually things got better, but I'm not quite sure what my point here was.
3) Well, it's not like I was Marissa Mayer, and got paid oodles of dollars for every second I was at work, but I had a part time job and a small business, and having a baby meant making sacrifices with this. I would have committed more to my part time job (my small business was terrible - I did not know how to get clients!), but knew it was not the time with the baby coming. Then Lingon gets to go about doing his normal stuff for the most part, which I think I was partly jealous of.
4) Not wanting life to change. A couple of the things I was really involved in was flying trapeze and aerial. And which studio wants to have liability for a pregnant women on such apparatus?! So I told no one, and I flew till about 5 months and did aerial until about 6 months, and lived with the guilt of thinking I could have killed my baby every moment of that for a few months after. Other things included being angry that I had to pee all the time, could not jump up and down (yeah I do that on a regular basis) without peeing a little in my pants, cutting down on sushi (I actually still believe it is pretty safe as long as you go to a reputable restaurant and do not eat huge fish, the worms thing in the US is not an issue because the fish is frozen which kills the worms), being tired a lot. So yeah, lots of change. Some women get bad morning sickness, I was fortunate that mine was pretty mild and only for a short while in the beginning. Also people treat you differently if they know you are pregnant - I did not tell anyone I was pregnant for like months and months, but when I finally did, they would, very well meaningly, say things like you can't bend down and pick stuff up, or workout, and stuff, and I'm like ughhhhhh no, I'm not incapacitated, I'm growing a child! I had a couple of workout class trainers say especially stupid things like that, which truly ticked me off.
Well, now that I've gotten my rant in, let me say this. All that is worth it. The stretchy skin, the uncomfortableness, the crappy boobs, the fatigue. Because everytime I look at my baby, I feel this joy that really was unimaginable to me even during pregnancy. Everything about him, his pudgy cheeks, his dimpled hands and legs, his milk drunk face, his angry face, his happy face, his sad face, his grunts, his cry, his laughter, oh man I realize how much in love I am. My OB gave me one of the best pieces of advice, which is to allow yourself to fall in love over and over again. Do that with your babies. They really grow so quickly. Take lots of pictures and videos that you may never look at again. Stare at them when they are sleeping. Hug and kiss them lots. I find I could not do that enough. Then you look back at the struggles and realize, hey they really were not so bad after all.
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