Hello everyone! I'm pregnant! Today I am 32 weeks+ along, and counting down and I cannot wait to meet our baby Mots Bear. I thought of writing a blog to share my experience a while ago, but never got around to doing it, but here I am, finally. I'm not really sure how I am going to structure this blog, but I'll do my best.
Lingon had been ready to have kids for quite some time now. I was not quite ready, nor was I quite so sure he was ready, for quite a while, and then I really took some time to do things I wanted to do, which really involved traveling a lot and taking care of myself, and I did that for a couple of years, and then finally, I told him, after I eat at Jiro, I will be ready. We ate at Jiro, and then I was ready.
So I got off birth control, which I had been on for practically forever since my periods were extremely irregular and also for birth control reasons, got a period, and then nothing for months. I took a test and was not pregnant, so it's not like I was waiting for months for my belly to grow bigger or anything. I don't remember how many months I waited - I assumed my body was getting used to getting off birth control, but after what seemed like a ridiculous number of months, I decided to take a visit to the doctor.
Hello Clomid! This is a pill that helps women who do not get their period to ovulate. I took a few cycles, timed sex, still nothing. By the way, Ali Wong. If you have Netflix, you should watch her comedy skit, Baby Cobra. I watched it with 7 people I did not know and 1 person I knew quite well, and I must say it was pretty darned funny but I did find myself cringing at times. Her description of her sex life was, well, somewhat accurate to what my girlfriends and I discuss at times. When it's not the right time, there's no sex.
So, clomid and no baby. I go to a different OB, get more clomid, then we take some blood tests, and even though I'm getting my period, my eggs are not coming out! She refers me to see a fertility clinic, and I choose UCSF because it is close to me and more importantly they took my insurance. (The other, Pacific Fertility, did not take my insurance so I was like nahhhhh.) They immediately put me on letrozole, a different ovulation drug, since they say it is more efficient with less side effects (different from what the OB said), and since I don't know better, I'm just like OK. And lo and behold, one round of letrozole, and I'm knocked up
Bottom line, ask about options for pills if you have the same problem I had, or any problem, really, where you may get pills.
Anyway, this is about one year after we had started trying, what a journey.
So, one would think I would be wildly ecstatic, after trying for something like a year, to find out that I was finally pregnant. The truth is, I was not. Not at that time anyway. For starters, Lingon and I had been arguing a lot, so it did not seem to make sense to bring a kid into a world where parents were always yelling at each other. Also, I had just started going to circus classes (flying trapeze and aerial apparatus) and it did not seem like something people would recommend, and it made me insanely happy and I did not want to give that up.
I remember the day I took a pee test. I looked at it, and then did probably another 4. The fertility clinic emailed me the day after and told me to take a test, and I just told them I was going to wait. Yup, I lied to them. Took me a few days before I told them I was pregnant, and then they and I were the only ones who knew it. I couldn't even tell Lingon. Seemed too real. Too scary. I was going on a big trip, and it was on that trip that I finally told Lingon, more than a week later. He was wildly ecstatic, I was... confused. When I returned from the trip, I went to see Dr Quinn at the fertility clinic, and got my first baby ultrasound. I remember I was thinking, she won't see anything, it was all a big joke, but there it was, my little bundle of cells. I managed not to cry that entire doctor's visit, but I explained to Dr Quinn that I was not really happy, and that I wanted to continue flying, and I felt all these weird emotions and I was very sad that I was not happier, and she comforted me and said it was a very big change, and even though people try to get pregnant, there are a lot of emotions involved in having a baby, and not to feel bad about how I feel. I left feeling a bit better about myself, but still very mixed.
So that was me. Pregnant.
Months later, at 32+ weeks, things are much better, and I cannot wait to meet little Mots Bear. The thought of Baby Mots makes me happy, and I am so excited to see you, little one. I can only hope and pray that you are first and foremost healthy, and that we can give you a happy life. I love you.
Lingon had been ready to have kids for quite some time now. I was not quite ready, nor was I quite so sure he was ready, for quite a while, and then I really took some time to do things I wanted to do, which really involved traveling a lot and taking care of myself, and I did that for a couple of years, and then finally, I told him, after I eat at Jiro, I will be ready. We ate at Jiro, and then I was ready.
So I got off birth control, which I had been on for practically forever since my periods were extremely irregular and also for birth control reasons, got a period, and then nothing for months. I took a test and was not pregnant, so it's not like I was waiting for months for my belly to grow bigger or anything. I don't remember how many months I waited - I assumed my body was getting used to getting off birth control, but after what seemed like a ridiculous number of months, I decided to take a visit to the doctor.
Hello Clomid! This is a pill that helps women who do not get their period to ovulate. I took a few cycles, timed sex, still nothing. By the way, Ali Wong. If you have Netflix, you should watch her comedy skit, Baby Cobra. I watched it with 7 people I did not know and 1 person I knew quite well, and I must say it was pretty darned funny but I did find myself cringing at times. Her description of her sex life was, well, somewhat accurate to what my girlfriends and I discuss at times. When it's not the right time, there's no sex.
So, clomid and no baby. I go to a different OB, get more clomid, then we take some blood tests, and even though I'm getting my period, my eggs are not coming out! She refers me to see a fertility clinic, and I choose UCSF because it is close to me and more importantly they took my insurance. (The other, Pacific Fertility, did not take my insurance so I was like nahhhhh.) They immediately put me on letrozole, a different ovulation drug, since they say it is more efficient with less side effects (different from what the OB said), and since I don't know better, I'm just like OK. And lo and behold, one round of letrozole, and I'm knocked up
Bottom line, ask about options for pills if you have the same problem I had, or any problem, really, where you may get pills.
Anyway, this is about one year after we had started trying, what a journey.
So, one would think I would be wildly ecstatic, after trying for something like a year, to find out that I was finally pregnant. The truth is, I was not. Not at that time anyway. For starters, Lingon and I had been arguing a lot, so it did not seem to make sense to bring a kid into a world where parents were always yelling at each other. Also, I had just started going to circus classes (flying trapeze and aerial apparatus) and it did not seem like something people would recommend, and it made me insanely happy and I did not want to give that up.
I remember the day I took a pee test. I looked at it, and then did probably another 4. The fertility clinic emailed me the day after and told me to take a test, and I just told them I was going to wait. Yup, I lied to them. Took me a few days before I told them I was pregnant, and then they and I were the only ones who knew it. I couldn't even tell Lingon. Seemed too real. Too scary. I was going on a big trip, and it was on that trip that I finally told Lingon, more than a week later. He was wildly ecstatic, I was... confused. When I returned from the trip, I went to see Dr Quinn at the fertility clinic, and got my first baby ultrasound. I remember I was thinking, she won't see anything, it was all a big joke, but there it was, my little bundle of cells. I managed not to cry that entire doctor's visit, but I explained to Dr Quinn that I was not really happy, and that I wanted to continue flying, and I felt all these weird emotions and I was very sad that I was not happier, and she comforted me and said it was a very big change, and even though people try to get pregnant, there are a lot of emotions involved in having a baby, and not to feel bad about how I feel. I left feeling a bit better about myself, but still very mixed.
So that was me. Pregnant.
Months later, at 32+ weeks, things are much better, and I cannot wait to meet little Mots Bear. The thought of Baby Mots makes me happy, and I am so excited to see you, little one. I can only hope and pray that you are first and foremost healthy, and that we can give you a happy life. I love you.
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